Mr. Hong gets hitched

A rite of passage that seems to be emerging among westerners in Korea is going to a Korean wedding. Luckily for me, I have become fast friends with Hong Woon-Ki. He is a teacher at my school and started here at the same time. He has helped me navigate daily life here and we hang out after school as well. We are close to the same age, so we are spared enduring the culturally mandated respect protocols practiced by people of disparate ages. (Also, since we are friends I can and do call him by his given name, Woon-ki, but for this story I will refer to him as Mr. Hong mostly for comic effect).

Sunday, April 18 was Mr. Hong's wedding...something that struck me as unusual right away. I was picked up by another teacher, Son-oh at 9:50 that morning and we met at the World Cup Stadium where I had witnessed the normally abysmal Daejeon soccer team defeat Chunnam the day before. We were all meeting at the stadium to get on a bus that Mr. Hong had rented for us to take the the wedding. It was an hour ride to get to the wedding and due to an almost complete lack of parking the bus turned out to be a necessity.

Once we arrived at the wedding hall, I began to see the differences. I figured that people are people and certain things will transcend cultures: like eating 3 times a day, driving on roads and getting married. It turns out that marriage here is similar but not the same. I think I can sum up the differences in one word: efficiency.

As we entered the wedding hall, we passed the first wedding group that was getting married at the scheduled time staggered 30 minutes from Mr. Hong's wedding. The group of teachers I arrived with met near Mr. Hong and we greeting him. There was no gift registry, so we wrote our names and deposited cash into envelopes provided to us by the wedding hall. Our name and monetary expression of our fondness for Mr. Hong were recorded in a ledger after we turned in our cash-stuffed envelopes.

We met Mr. Hong standing outside the room where he would be married. He stood with his mother and soon-to-be-in-laws. He shook our hands, said a brief hello and we caught a glimpse of the bride in a salon/display room where she was sitting for all to see before the wedding. There isn't a tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding here, but Koreans go a step further and don't live together until they are married, so I can definitely give them a pass on seeing the bride a few minutes before the nuptials.

We took our spots near the back of the filled room and stood by the wall. Mr. Hong entered and stood at the alter. His bride was escorted by her father who then sat down. So far it was similar to an American ceremony--except that there was no wedding party. The two of them stood alone at the alter. The officiant (the principal from the bride's school) married the couple and every few minutes Mr. Hong would bark out responses to the principal's questions. This was apparently the correct way to conduct himself despite several people chuckling after hearing him yell.

The couple bowed to both the bride's parents and Mr. Hong's mother. Then Mr. Hong's friend stood up, took a microphone and serenaded the happy couple, nore-bang (karaoke if you must) style. Not to be outdone by his friend Mr. Hong took the microphone and sang another song himself. It went far beyond the "I am singing to be funny" and moved into the "I am singing this to be sincere" realm. They kissed and were officially married. The couple walked down the isle as husband and wife and the ceremony was over. Total time: about 25 minutes. I didn't realize it at the time, but that would be the last I would see of Mr. Hong.

We then walked to the reception area where there was a buffet set up full of lots of tasty Korean foods. The folks from the wedding that happened before Mr. Hong's were eating already and we got in line and got some food. The bride and groom didn't make and appearance as this is the tradition. The teachers ate together and met at the bus for our ride home. Total time, including the 2 hours of bus ride: about 3.5 hours. This was fast, to the point and absent of any unnecessary pageantry. I was a little sad that we left without seeing the newly married couple especially since I haven't met Mr. Hong's wife. I also wanted to say goodbye before they left for a honeymoon in Phuket. (Luckily Mr. Hong called me this morning before his flight left.)

We arrived back at our cars and that was it. It was fast, efficient and to the point. I can only imagine how much money was saved by not doing the wedding Western-style. Some things I found to be improvements over the weddings I am used to, but I also wish that some things were different. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed myself.

Hong Woon-Ki

Mr. Hong proving his worth as a man by singing. He passed the test and was allowed to marry.

This is the suit that I just won't shut up about. Next to me and my suit is Son-oh, a teacher at my school.

The building in the background the the wedding hall. Like all things Korean, it is efficient.

Some of the teachers at my school. The guy in the middle that everyone is scared of is my principal, the woman in purple is the vice principal. I am the white guy.

Some students stowed away on the wedding bus. Look how well behaved they are. Every single teacher there is wishing they had their "discipline stick" right then.

Here is a video of Mr. Hong singing at his wedding. Forget what you think you know about Koreans being somber people. They like to party. Sort of.

Here is a quick post-wedding recap: